Long Distance Relationship Tips: The End

653. That’s the number of days until May 14, 2017. Not only is that Sunday my birthday, but it’s the day after John has a college diploma in his hand (a week after I have one in mine) and we will officially no longer be a long distance couple.

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It hasn’t always been that clear cut. I go to a school where getting your undergraduate degree is expected to take five years due to time taken off to work for entire semesters at a time. For a while, I thought I wanted to go into teaching and getting my license would push me back to a December 2017 graduation. Hypothetically I could also graduate at the end of this year if I didn’t want to work anymore and was interested in graduating straight political science, but I don’t need to shorten my stay by too, too much.

There was a period of time during which I pondered the idea that after graduation John and I might spend some time in different cities. I thought the Silicon Valley might call to him and I would end up wherever I got a job and then eventually we would figure out a way to end up in the same city so we could get on with our lives. Over the past couple of years, though, I’ve learned that’s not really how long distance relationships work.

I’ve read about a lot of long distance relationships online, and while every couple is different, their stories all end the same way. Basically, if you’re in it for the long haul, you need to figure out how to be together at some point. We’re fortunate that we have such a natural point at which to make that happen. (I think. Ha!) I don’t have a crystal ball and I don’t even have a desire to so intricately plan my future that I know what city we’ll be in or what company I’ll work for, but part of loving John is trusting that both of us would do whatever it takes to be together at that point.

I know every couple does things differently, but I think that for us having an end in sight provides comfort if nothing else. I’m interested to hear the perspectives of other people in long distance relationships, so chime in if you’re so inclined! (P.S. That picture up there is from the day John and I became long distance. Our smiles didn’t stay that way for long.) Until next time!

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Long Distance Relationship Tips: The End

Long Distance Relationship Tips: Visiting

Happy Monday! This is the beginning of a series of posts I’m planning to share on long distance relationships. John and I started dating halfway through our senior year of high school and have been long distance (for us, MA -> TX) for almost two full years now. I remember panicking the summer before we left for school and google searching “Does long distance work?” (Hint: Don’t do this. It doesn’t help.) and couldn’t find much help. These posts will be directed at a college-aged crowd dealing with long distance, but could apply to a variety of people.

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I’m in Austin this week visiting John while he’s interning for the summer, so it seemed appropriate to start with the importance of visiting. Being in college is not the easiest time for most to have an extra $200-500 lying around to travel far and visit, but it’s important to make sure you put in the effort to keep your connection strong. Freshman year, based on our schedules and available funds, we found that we could manage two visits on top of seeing each other on a couple of breaks from school. I saw John about once every two months during this time. This past year, we were able to up it and I saw him about once a month, which will probably continue to be the trend for the next two years.

While being so far apart has seemed to be a curse in many ways, I think it has been a blessing in some. If we lived closer together–say, if John were in NYC–we would probably visit too frequently and would both miss out on part of our own, independent college experiences because we were at the other’s university for such a large portion of our time. We’ve both been able to maintain our individual college lives and haven’t missed out on anything because of our relationship, which is something I made an effort to prioritize before we started.

As I said, however, visiting is important and it’s key that you make the most out of visit. I’ve seen many diagrams that show three parts to relationships: mental, emotional, and physical. My theory on long distance is that your mental and emotional relationship grow stronger (I guess that’s a plus, haha), but you miss the physical component for most of the time. Making time to visit each other allows you to continue to mature as a couple in the physical side of your relationship.

Lastly, for me, visiting is always a little bit of a struggle. It’s easier to go long distance when you start to forget the little things that you love about  physically being with the other person, but visits bring all of those memories back all at once. The first time John visited me, I spent most of the visit crying because he was going to have to leave eventually. I’ve found that the best way to cope is to live in the moment and try not to dwell on the end date of the visit, but rather know that there is an end date to the long-distance portion of your relationship.

Please let me know if there are any other long distance relationship topics you’d like me to cover or questions that you have! Until next time!

Long Distance Relationship Tips: Visiting

It’s Friday!

I’m getting super excited for the weekend ahead with John in Austin! We have a lot on our potential to-do list, and I’ll be sure to share our reviews as we come along.

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I arrived in Austin last night and John and after spending some time reuniting, we headed to the famous Salt Lick for dinner. I can’t say I am a barbecue expert because I haven’t eaten at more than five or six barbecue places in my lifetime, but WOW the Salt Lick blew it out of the park.

Sorry I didn’t get any pictures of the food–I was far too excited about eating. We got a brisket plate and a pulled pork plate and were definitely expecting the former to be tastier, but the pulled pork knocked it out of the park. It was incredibly flavorful and not dry at all. Despite my argument that we wouldn’t be able to finish (John was right. We finished.), we added a side of sweet potato fries to our order. Once again, knocked it out of the park, Salt Lick.

After dinner, we watched the sun set off of the roof of John’s apartment and grabbed a slice of pie from the gluten free bakery near the UT Austin campus (John has celiac). It’s been great so far to escape Louisville’s humidity and if I haven’t already said it, I am so excited for the weekend ahead.

I hope you have a great weekend! Until next time!

It’s Friday!

Meet John

Hello, world. This is my boyfriend John.

my latest favorite picture of John (he's on the right)
my latest favorite picture of John (he’s on the right)

We’ve been dating for two and a half years as of four days ago. He’s a pretty important character in my life, so I felt like he needed his own introduction.

He goes to school in Texas and approximately 1,850 miles away from me on a typical day. I see him about once a month and y’all (hehe Texas) will hear about it every time, don’t worry. He’s the kindest human I have ever met.

another favorite picture of John and I from last Christmas time
another favorite picture of John and me from last Christmas time

I’m so thankful to have him.

Meet John